Introduction
These words of repentance marked the beginning of Augustine's new life. A few years after he came in contact with God, he said, "Our hearts, O Lord, were made for you, and they are restless until the rest in you."
Saint Augustine is one of the greatest Fathers of the Church. He was an original thinker who became recognized as a remarkable leader of Christian faith. One of the guiding forces in Saint Augustine's life was his Christian mother, Saint Monica.
His Childhood and Youth
Saint Augustine, who used commonly to be called Austin in English, was born on November 13, 354 at Tagaste, a small town of Numidia in north Africa, not far from Hippo. His father, Patricius, was a pagan and of a violent disposition; but through the example and prudent conduct of his wife, Saint Monica, he was baptized a little before his death.
As a child, Saint Monica instructed him in the Christian religion and taught him how to pray; falling dangerously ill, he desired baptism and his mother got everything ready for it: but he suddenly grew better, and it was put off.
His father wanted him to become a man of learning and cared very little about his character. In his writings, Augustine accuses himself of often studying by constraint, disobeying his parents and masters, not writing, reading, or minding his lessons so much as was required of him; and this he did not for lack of wit or memory, but out of love of play. But he prayed to God with great earnestness that he might escape punishment at school. He later on did so well with his studies that he went to Carthage in 370 when he was still 17. He studied rhetoric with eagerness and pleasure; but his motives were vanity and ambition, and to them he joined loose living.
Years away from Christ
At Carthage, he entered into relations with a woman (to whom he remained faithful until he sent her away from him 15 years later). She bore him a son, Adeodatus, in 372. His father had died in 371, but he continued at Carthage and switched to philosophy and the search for the truth. He also studied the Scriptures but from a subjective attitude. He was offended with the simplicity of style, and could not relish their humility or penetrate their spirit. Then he fell into Manichaeism - a combination of pagan religions and philosophy. The darkening of the understanding and clumsiness in the use of the faculties helped to betray him into his company; and pride did the rest. "I sought with pride", he says, "what only humility could make me find. Fool that I was, I left the nest, imagining myself able to fly; and I fell to the ground."
For nine years he had his own schools of rhetoric and grammar in Tagaste and Carthage, while his devoted mother, Saint Monica, spurred on by the assurance of a holy bishop that "the son of so many tears could not perish", never ceased by prayer and gentle persuasion to try to bring him to conversion and reform.
In 383 he departed to Rome, secretly, lest his mother should prevent him from going to the big city. He opened a school or rhetoric, and then was appointed by the government as a teacher in Milan, where his mother, and his friend Alipius joined him. Saint Monica's only ambition was to convert her son to Christianity.
His Repentance
In Milan, Saint Augustine came under the influence of Saint Ambrose the bishop; he began to go to his sermons, not so much with an expectation of profiting by them as to gratify his curiosity and to enjoy the eloquence. He found that the discourses more learned than the heresies he adopted and began to read the New Testament especially Saint Paul's writings. In the same time, the mother of Adeodatus his son left back to Africa leaving the child behind.
Saint Augustine's spiritual, moral and intellectual struggle went on; he was convinced of the truth of Christianity, but his will was weaker than the worldly temptations, and delayed his return to Christ for many months. "Soon, in a little while, I shall make up my mind, but not right now" he kept telling himself. In his half desires of conversion he w